Monday, December 3, 2018

Traveling Is So Much Fun

I flew in and out of LAX this week. It's not a frequent airport for me -- I can't even remember the last time I was there. But something happened there that I thought was worth blogging about.

When I arrived for my return flight home I didn't at first recognize anything as unusual. My Uber driver dropped me off curbside, I got my boarding pass from the automated machine, I found the TSA pre-check line and went through security. All normal. But when I got into the gate area something was very different.

Live musicians were playing on professional sound systems. Scores of people were wearing white "I LOVE LAX" t-shirts. Airport muckety-mucks in three-piece suits were scattered about in unusual numbers. Several TV cameramen were moving about, capturing B roll or chronicling stand-up interviews. And amidst it all, many of my fellow travelers seemed to stumble around in happy amazement. Look at all the glitz. Look at all the pretty people.

Needless to say, I was not one of them. I was annoyed, not amazed. I was just trying to get to my gate. Can you get out of my way, please?

At the gate I asked the agent what was going on. Was this a brand-new terminal or something?

No, she said, but the food court is new. They opened it recently and today they decided to have a media event.

I looked over at the food court. Most of the brands were unfamiliar to me, but the options weren't. Coffee. Burgers. Burritos. Pizza by the slice. Chicken sandwiches. That's it? Really?

The gate agent gave me an understanding look. What are you going to do?

Look, don't get me wrong. I spend a fair amount of time in airports, and I appreciate any of all efforts to make them more pleasant places to spend that time. But here I was, traveling home after attending another conference, stuck with a humorless Uber driver for an hour in Los Angeles traffic, trained by TSA to keep my electronics and carry-on liquids to an absolute minimum, and looking only for a quick bite to eat, an electrical outlet, and a WIFI connection before folding myself into an uncomfortable coach seat for the next four hours -- and all around me people seemed to be celebrating, seemed to be excited about this strange and somewhat soulless experience known as modern air travel.

It was surreal. I'm not sure there's any other word to describe it. And amidst all the fanfare and flashing flat panel television screens, I saw an ad for the new People Mover that was evidently the next step in these magical LAX improvements. Coming soon, the ad said. Opening in 2023.

2023? Remind me not to go back to LAX until then.

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This post first appeared on Eric Lanke's blog, an association executive and author. You can follow him on Twitter @ericlanke or contact him at eric.lanke@gmail.com.

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